#jared is seriously doing his literal line deliveries of ALL TIME AND HOW ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT

[daincrediblegg]

I know we've all been going insane about hari murder comeback of the century in envy of the entire wwe league but like. CAN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT HARI "THE FUTURE IS WRITTEN EVERY SECOND! WRITE A BETTER ONE" ?!?!??!? CAN WE???? PLEASE????

[not-souleaterpost]

Well the new movie is ofcourse very well made, all the special effects and execution of the scale of all of it.

but it kinda is a bit sterile - it reminds me of Nolan movies - they seem like the idea of a 15 year old of "what a mature movie is" (ok thats probably as controversial as my Dune take lol)

By that I mean, they take themselves too seriously and are dark in a very surface level way:

For example, the evil pale bold people - how do we show that they are evil? Oh the slit throaths till it loses its edge, literally. (the bad guy in the end remined me of Jared Leto Joker, sans "damadged tatoo")

In contrast in the Lynch movie they were depicted as ridicolously decadent wacky weirdos - which even if farcical, makes more sense - cause bad monarchs do go in that direction, into gaudy colours, weird perversions and becoming caricatures - making the nephew be actually fucking Sting from the police in his underpants was a genius movie lol - playing with the whole idea of Rockstars - Fascists ala David Bowie.

While in the new one its just "Oh they are monochrome and militaristic, see how uniquely evil they are?" might as well have been Lord Of the Ring orcs lol (But I liked the black-ink fire work or whatever it was supposed to be)

Another thing, everybody hated the Lynch movie cause it was rushed and stuff - but at the same time, while watching the new one I just felt kinda as it was stretched too much, with generic action scenes and just scenes that seemed to go on too long - while at the end feeling yet again somehow as everything happened out of nowhere and things didnt get their time to shine -

Like in the Lynch Dune when Paul uses his voice against the evil nun, the whole scene is back and forth, ending with a cool line delivery by Paul, while in the new he just randomly silences her out of nowhere while she mutters "abomination" under her breath, as if too just check of a box of "show that Paul is better at this cause he is that thing whose name Im not a nerd enough to remember"

Ofcourse the new Dune had cool scenes, like I really liked Paul at that religious gathering with him going all big ham with his superpowers and the foreboding feeling that all brought, but my problem is that it was more the exception and not the rule - cause for example the colloseum scene, which was supposed to look epic was ehh to me, like wow he kills one guy who seems older to him, guess that establishes him as a super psycho ubermensch? If he wasnt pissy at his uncle maybe but now it just eh (or have them all not be drugged idk)

Ofcourse I now people will say "Lynch Dune totally ruined the whole point with a happy ending, Paul wasnt supposed to be a real messiah, its a warning against religious fever leading to horrible things!"

I mean I guess, but at the same time I'm just talking about the movies as their own thing - havent even read the book lol - and tbh, and I think some even say that the new Dune kinda got the details of Herberts point wrong, cause in it it now seems "Ok all these cartoonly evil sadist will kill everyone, but doing anything against them is even worse! See you are even the grandson of them to drive the point of you being the same monster!!"

And to me this seems like a kinda weird message, cause what are they supposed to do? Just die in the desert and let evil reign forever? Do it in a "nice" way, even if it was shown to be impossible by that when Paul didnt try to become a superman that led to all those people being fire bombed? I avoid political things on here but the moral seems to be a bit insensitve especially today "Look when you get occupied for 70 years by people that only want your oil, fighting back is just worse, so lay down and die as Ben Shapiro wants!!!"

While the Lynch Dune actually had the double subversion, of a technocratic nihilistic engineered messiah turning into a real one and destroying the whole system that wanted to oppress the world (or universe) in a ironic twist, while showing how truely this was some providence of God by making the mirracle of Rain as the clossing image.

But look, in the end, I havent seen the Lynch version since a few years, maybe I'm misremebering shit with rose tinted glasses. And also I am both a contrarian and somebody who doesnt like "unfairness" even in stupid shit, so hearing for years how "lol Lynch fucked up haha he even says it himself!" while the new one gets praised more than the false messiah does in the movies, makes me wanna hitch a sandworm and ride of into the desert of the real takes.

Idk.

Yeah...Sorry

Will people hate me even more if I unironically think Lynch's Dune is better than the new one🤔🤷‍♂️

[bookishbea]

Black Friday Reaction

Okay so I’ll be live tweeting Black Friday but none of it will have any sense to it but it’ll just be my reactions

1. The Paul thing is really bothering me

2. I really love the mention of the other characters

3. If Jane is mention is the story about the mom mentioned some more

4. Is the delivery man ted (cause he’s also a sleazeball

5. It’s weird seeing Cory not play a pure bean

6. I love California MIA

7. The little sister (Im sorry I’m bad at names) I self project as autistic and she something else idk

8. Did anyone else noticed Robert’s Australian accent come out?

9. Like I said this is out of order so yeah but I personally think the second song in the show was very shocking as I’m not used to very serious starkid songs

10. When Robert gestures smoking i think its lowkey a refrence to the smoke club

11. I have a crush on lex

12. I love Lauren’s charecter so much

13. I love the name linda becuase it could be like a karen without using that name

14. Not to get poltical but i choose to belive they made an antivax joke

15. Also the marvel nerd in me loves the name becky barnes

16. I know its probaly not on purpose but joeys charecters costume in line looks like the homeless guy’s one

17. Jaimey is great as always

18. The conversation is so cringe i love it

19. I kinda hope torture porn is a fanfic refrence (i know most people would want me to say spies are forever but nope)

20. I love Lauren but shouldnt her accent be included when she sings

21. I love Jeff’s reaction

22. I may get some hate for this but what was bothering me in tgwdlm and i notice in starkid is lack of fan comments in the captions

23. As a theatre fan i love the toy zone song (i am not sure if thats the right name) espcially the do wop becuase it reminds me of older musicals

24. Also since i watched tgwdlm and black friday a day apart its weird to come from songs happening because they are infected to songs happening cause its a musical

25. i love the love the line we are not relaibly to anyone who dies becuase they clearly show in the trailer that someone will die (this is not a spoiler if you watch the trailer for Black Friday)

26. I love Corey but when he dances i notice a bulge (i am not a perv he makes it very obvious)

27. So i rewinded it to make sure i wanst going crazy and realized something as lex says the pepper spray line. She would be good as janis ian

28. I love the touch money part its so cute even if its not supposed to be

29. Jaime plays a perv really well

30. I love Jon’s charecter its hilarious

31. Also i love jon and lauren interactions so it was cool seeing them together not as paul and emma

32. I love seeing more of Jon because although hes reaally good at playing paul paul doesnt have any flavor and its cool seeing jon do something diffrent

33. Jeff’s fuck you

34. Okay I was right it was the homeless guy and i bet the money is paul’s money

35. And this is not a sterotpye as i am jewish myself but i bet Laurens charecter is jewish

36. Its sad that the price thing is true

37. So i am a theatre fan and do not watch got but that music kinda reminds me of got

38. Cant tell if jeff’s charecter is gay and a perv or just a perv (i realzie this could be mmisinterpreted as homophobic i just mean to say that jamie’s charecter just seems like a full out perv where as i cant tell with jeff’s)

39. Obviously you shouldnt be that insane but i do like the lines about how you are in charge of life and dont care about what others think. its goood life advice

39. Looks like Paul’s boss got his wish

40. They are all idiots for holding up the doll when everyone wants to get it

41. Corey’s charecter is like shit, money isnt that imporant

42. Becky why are you a part of this you have moral high ground (yes i am ignorning the fact that cast usually join in dance numbers even if their charecter isnt a part of it)

43. Shouldnt tom get ptsd (see above)

44. Lex you already have one (see above)

45. So i may be overthinking things but how curt says never should settle is in the tune of spies are forever

46. Is it just me or did anyone else notice when the security guard comes in the tune of show me your hands comes in

47. I dont know why but i do love soft bullies because hes like hey im punching you but only for the kid

48. Some may say its schizo or something hannah has but its anxiery or something from how shes expressing it

49. I feel like hannah has a superpower and can tell whats happening

50. Maybe webby is actually wiggly

51. Baby (both hannah and robert)

52. Please tell me my babies not dead

53. Jon’s eee is adorable and silly

54. Wait hes alive

55. Wait no hes dead, im sad liek starkid is supposed to be fun and happy this is the darkest star kid yet. Even oregon deaths were silly

56. I love starkid but this is making me anxious i cant tell if its good anxious or bad anxious

57. Also i relate to the black and white thing not fully but liek whenever i dont feel well sometimes my brain is overstimulating but only in my head its very hard to explain 

58. Also i think sometimes kids on the spectrum and im not an expert but i do have it kind of make a friend in their head and i do that too sometimes just to give me advice

59. Also i hope they dont get rid of the black and white as sometimes people go more crazy without the figurative voice in their head

60. Like i said this is going to be random order so i like that emma adopted paul;s Okay and no im not making a tfios refrence

61. Poor Tim

62. Poor becky but even less

63. i thought they were supposed to be mad at g-d but in this and tgwdlm they like g-d

64. I cant tell the other pins on joey’s jacket but the first two i notice are mr wiggly and paul

65. I love Lauren’s acting you can see the very sublte sadness in her

66. Lauren and Joey together ahhhh

67. I know its probaly not a big deal but they should give a seziure warning before the tv scene

68. Did they reuse curts spies are forever outfit

69. Really starkid the obama refrence seriously, i cant tell if im mad or laughing 

70. How did Bob get one

71. I do realize they are talking irl but i cant help but wonder if the nazis were a spies are forever refrence

72. Does wiggly have a special power or something 

73. I think its similar to the metero the closer you are the more power it has over you

74. The starkid special effects we all know and love

75. Also is that mcnamara

76. Also maybe shooting it (the doll) does the same thing that shooting the affceted does. Give them no power

77. I cant tell what the music reminds me of exactly but the tune does kinda refrence a diffrent star kid song

78. Jeff looks so proud of himself for the peeps line

79. I love the purposeful i presume reuse of lines

80. Is peip like men in black

81. Also hatchetfield kind of reminds me of night vale

82. Is the black and white like the upside down?

83. I wonder if the point was purposeful since someone was filming or just choreographed

84. Yes Jon Singing!!!!!

85. I love the act two opener

86. Did his parents really name him christmas?!?

87. Oh hes literally related to santa

88. I love lauren and joey as eleves

89. Noel another christmas name

90. Isnt the little dance move like a genie move or something

91. Its so cute that she insitincitvely went to their seats

92. Also carving is goals

93. Even though its a penis its still goals

94. I know what you are, say it, santa clause

95. Tom dont yell at your girl

96. Poor Tom

97. But also dont make this about you

98. They probaly werent the head of the school since they were nice, i am sorry but thats true

99. Yass girl fight his ass

100. Also the theatre kid in me is picturing all that jazz

101. he ran into my knife he ran into my knife ten times

102. Yes Becky’s husband (i forget the name sue me) is bad but i feel like becky is more sinister then we realize

103. Becky’s line even if it isnt meant to be is so funny

104. The girl who plays Becky could play Barbara

105. I love how Joey and Lauren look into the camera

106. Jamie saying santa awww such a pure bean

107. The person in the wiggly onsie is goals

108. Matrix glasses for the win

109. Is wilbur a refrence to Charelots Web?

110. Its a cult a cult of wiggly

111. I feel like Sherman young is around 30-40

112. I love how its mommy to sound less pervy

113. Oh wait never mind Linda is mom

114. Shit thats fucked up they killed him

115. I am right a jew no non jew says mensch

116. To quote jared klienman kinky (shoe kiss scene)

117. Also i love this song the adore song

118. Why does them picking up Lauren give me Draco vibes

119. Wait he isnt dead?? im so confused

120. Wait he is dead???

121. Also ethan is creepy now

122. But Roberts expressions are goals

123. Robert your proffesor hidgens is showing

124. What the how does he know her name

125. Savage Wiggly

126. Wiggly is more funny than scary

127. But my poor baby dont be scared

128. What the fuck tom

129. Also poor baby number two

130. At first you think becky is made about him hurting a child but no its about the doll

131. What the fuck Becky

132. Also I wonder if thats the same serum that Hidgens used

133. Tom yelling at the audince is hilarious

134. Also Becky singing is giving me little shop vibes

135. Becky are you drunk or something you so stupid

136. But yayy my baby doesnt get hurt

137. More starkid special effects

138. Also the lighting nod to tgwdlm

139. Also why did they take my baby (see i told you random)

140. So the perv is wiggly

141. Also if he can appear in regular formation on earth why does he need to be the doll

142. Oh wait never mind he explains it

143. Joey talking to the audience and making them hold the apple is goals

144. I love Joey’s song

145. MIA = Missing in Action = Made in America

146. Wait im wrong Joey cant be Wiggly unless he has super powers he cant be in two places at once

147. I know they dont mean sex but still wtf

148. Lauren looks so done i cant

149. Seziure warning after mr presidnet leaves the black and white

150. Unless it was purposeful they should have hidden the dolls better backstage

151. Wait didnt hannah say something about two doors earlier?

152. Seriously Sherman ponies

153. I love the going back line

154. My poor baby lex

155. No Lex dont die not you too

156. Haha throwback to tgwdlm

157. Yes baby you got the gun

158. Also die perv die

159. Eagle screeching is goals

160. Yes lex use that logic

161. Also it makes sense only the adults can be brainwashed

162. There were only adults no children, scary (not sarcastic i promise)

163. Seriously starkid Fortnight

164. Thats why you should never fully grow up

165. Woah what Lex says is deep

166. Yessss Tom

167. Wait Tom dont hold the gun

168. Wait is Charolette alive or just a reuse of costume, if so why would they have jaimie wear it

169. No dont take her magic hat

170. Haha stupid hats cant be magic only dolls obviously

171. Does lauren say something like fucking knife in another show too?

172. Lauren screaming gives me my father will hear about this vibes

173. Also give my baby her hat back

174. Yass Lauren get it girl (i do realize shes playing the villian but still)

175. Yass Robert get it

176. Even though shes a viilain i dont like seeing Lauren get killed

177. But also how did they get the bullet wound on her so quick im impressed

178. Haha the way Gary stops everything to talk to gerald is goals

179. Like hes like oh shit money

180. And then hes like oh wait i have to pretend to care

181. I love how exagerated their dying is

182. Thats an impressive quick change

183. Yess Emma Hidgens

184. But also no hell fuck up again

185. Also Paul interupting is goals

186. Haha hannah you go girl

187. First off I love the song

188. Song off Hannah’s voice

189. Is paul scared normal or because of the hive

190. Wait all the tgwdlm charecters are back like nothing happened im confused

191. Haha the Hatchfield band is back

[spnreactionblogging]

raising hell

SPOILERS BELOW 

okay I really learned my lesson last time about not typing this directly into tumblr so it's going into notepad first and then I'm pasting it over

I have angel's envy for the episode in general, which I will be drinking gradually as a special occasion just for S15 as it airs, and also devil's cut for this episode in particular because I hear buckleming wrote it and I'm toasting to crowley and drinking that one if/when something fucked up inevitably happens to kevin

I'm SO FUCKING GLAD to see osric in this btw just like. I love him he's so good I'm glad he's back

I've tried to avoid spoilers but from what glimpses I've seen before I could glance away it sounds like maybe some meta shit is getting into territory I was also going into with the kevin/crowley/castiel fic I'm doing? so super intrigued to see where that goes but also not getting my hopes up because I fear the writing is going to drop the ball

I love meta shit though I'm so here for it, I gotta double back for time travel shenanigans in Lebanon

okay anyway let's start

oh and apparently rob benedict had a stroke a while back?? and i'm so glad he's all right, here are the signs of a stroke if you need to refresh because you really ought to know what to look for https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/too-young-to-have-a-stroke-think-again I had this open in a tab from someone totally different on twitter

I like the "road closed" sign we start with because it seems thematically on point for like... shutting down the infinite potential of stories as they are not done being told, and as all those doors close

it's not a buckleming episode unless it starts off with gratuitous violence against women

the amazon subtitles are spelling it "benzine" [sic] and it's pissing me off

I love jared playing sam playing an FBI agent who's nervous about delivering speeches

crams all this sam and cas footage into my mouth

I don't believe "belphegor" at all but I love seeing alex playing this part

this implication that belphegor has teamed up with a hunter previously.........

pretty impressed with these townspeople actually? their concerns are not unreasonable and they're right to be skeptical

pffffff at this parallel of sam addressing the living crowd vs jack the ripper addressing the ghost crowd

the makeup on the ghosts is pretty fuckin good, I like the wardrobe and hair too

I like the fake posters at the school for various fictional sporting events

castiel continues to have a conscience and I adore him

rowena "am I interrupting something juicy" eyes emoji

ruth is pretty fun, I like her necklace

I like that ketch literally has a gun that just kicks spirits out of people. like. ...why haven't they been using this technology the whole time. guess it's an endgame weapon.

hahahahha an attractive female demon named Ardat. ................me @ homestuck like oh Ardata got it

this is the first time i've seen adult amara? it's bizarre to see characters I've only heard of

dude's right to be very upset and worried about his neighbors and cas should tell them what's up honestly, I see sam's point about not inciting panic but on the other hand :\

no idea where this arthur/rowena thing is going except I do I guess

I really, really like castiel's take (which is also sam's take from the last episode) that even if their lives were written by chuck, their experiences still mattered, and are not rendered worthless because of external circumstances about how they came into being

are people seriously doing a "THIS IS A DESTIEL MOMENT" from this? like. i guess.

also i hate that cas is having to apologize for "dropping the puck". he didn't. fuck off. he didn't drop the ball. dean didn't give a shit about felix being killed anyway so what the fuck.

misha and jensen both have excellent delivery though

I do like seeing dean play off ketch and belphegor and rowena, it's a nice change of pace

dude these stunts of getting thrown into a wall or a shelving unit like I realize they're stunts but OUCH

ahhhhhh that's kevin i hear osric's voice

kevin got the other ghost to go away by yelling at them lmaooooo I love him so fucking much!!!!!

so we're gonna retcon that kevin has spent the last what, four??? four fucking years? not in heaven, but in hell or purgatory or just wandering earth? remember how a year on earth is forty years in hell?

I'm glad I specifically have the devil's cut to drink to kevin getting fucked over because I'm already enraged

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 1 **

god he's been on the screen for less than sixty seconds and he was just never sent to heaven because god lied, I'm so glad I have bourbon for this. fucking buckleming, how do they keep getting put in charge of kevin episodes

I got up to get my kevin keychain to watch the rest of this episode with I'm so mad holy fuck I'm so mad, it just never stops

the amazon subtitles: "the vegetables and herbs are finely chopped and added to a SEXY pastiche of fragrant tripe"

thinking emoji, did you mean zesty....

I took like a 30 minute break because I was so mad just now about kevin being denied access to heaven like fuck you

the break was so long that amazon timed out, goddamn it

oh so we can't get kevin into heaven because god's not around to make an exception and god hates the winchesters and how god feels about the winchesters extends to their surrounding "friends" and family. amazing. this is bullshit.

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 2 **

"whiny kevin tran! typical millennial." he should whine more. he has every right to be furious

also amazing that bobby and john manage to stay in heaven, and chuck didn't cast them down to hell along with mary out of spite when this all went down? so like... why not kevin. AMAZING!!!!!!

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 3 **

sam has the dignity to actually look concerned instead of just annoyed

oh I like sam being linked to chuck lmaooooo

I do love this shot of a bunch of ghosts just hanging out in some suburban kitchen.

osric is so handsome I'm so glad to see him on this again

"you know how the hellspawn are, all they talk about is sam and dean, sam and dean" maybe the only time jack the ripper has been right about anything

not a fan of this extremely heteronormative bullshit courtesy of buckleming

also left-brain/right-brain is basically a lie isn't it

this fucking music. I'm so sick of buckleming

like I would be fine with this if it had been written by literally anyone else but this is the worst shit, nobody flirts like this

the road is "FAIR WYND", that's the cousin of zack fair and cid highwind

she hooked up with jack the ripper briefly? weird flex but okay

oh kevin is now being held GHOST HOSTAGE because dean told him to go do some reconnaissance

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 4 **

also I paused on a screenshot that's extremely funny to me

oh I don't like hearing kevin screaming :(

drinking for kevin being tortured by jack the ripper trying to ghost-vore him

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 5 **

I'm also waiting for the ghostbusters containment thing to backfire and swallow him too

DEAN: you can see them, how many are there "BELPHEGOR": 100 at least, more keep coming

convenient way not to animate 100+ ghosts

oh ketch took off the fucking iron, or maybe it fell off when he was hurt?

good job rowena for real

CASTIEL: I tried to heal him, but it didn't work. I don't know why. SAM: You're probably just tired, Cas. We all are.

for fucking real the biggest sastiel mood is taking naps

also this is troubling

it's like legitimately weird to see them call an ambulance on this show? I guess since they're posing as FBI agents it's more feasilble but

SAM: I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish there was some way to make this right. KEVIN: Me too, but there isn't. And sometimes you just gotta accept that.

actually fuck you lmao holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit omg fuck this

I'm about to drink the rest of the kevin-designated devil's cut

"there's nothing to keep him tied to earth, he'll go crazy!"

hey what about y'know

his mom...........................................

I'm screaming

"I love you guys" osric I know you love them IRL but this is so unfair for kevin the character

I like alexander and osric in the same shot, that's kind of fun, I enjoyed their panel I watched

and there's him waving goodbye. this is so unfair. time to down the rest of this

** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 666 **

to kevin, and to osric

thank fuck I was already in the middle of writing fix-it fic, this is injust

I have such mixed feelings because I'm so happy to see osric back but like AT WHAT COST, the worst timeline

there's a finality to this too like he's not coming back after this unless there's massive all-cast-reunion episode at the tail end in a paradise party AU but I doubt it

goodbye Kevin, this sucks :(

I'm more motivated than ever to finish this fic

"Even on your best day, you couldn't force my hand." is a pretty good line

also negative space is not inferior or "backup vocals"? it's part of a composition

you fucking know what buckleming is that WE CAN FIGURE OUT THAT THERE'S A NARRATIVE PARALLEL ABOUT HER LEAVING HIM TRAPPED WITH HIS CREATION, WITHOUT YOU SPELLING IT OUT jesus christ

bluhhhhhhhhhh I liked the premiere a lot more

[ficdirectory]

Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 56

CHAPTER 56

 When Pearl wakes up Saturday morning, she feels exhausted.  She’s been having unnerving dreams all night long.  When she was finally able to drop off and get some sleep, Gracie was up, her nails clicking on the wood floors.

Pearl pulls the blankets up over her head.  She can’t face this day.

 It’s 7:30 when Gracie starts seriously whining to go out.  Pearl knows if she doesn’t get a move on, Gracie is going to pee on her floor.  So, she gets up, and takes her out, because she has to.  Because Gracie takes her of her, and Pearl takes care of Gracie - it’s mutual.

 They’re back inside after a walk.  It’s 7:45 now.  The post office here in Deerwood is only open for an hour this morning, from 9:00 to 10:00 AM.  Pearl figures she has to give herself at least a half an hour of mental preparation and self care to be able to get out the door.  She doesn’t have an appetite yet, but she drinks a little water once she feeds Gracie.  Then, she spends a few minutes in the swing, looking at her lights.  It helps, but not as much as it typically might.

 At 8:00, she takes out her journal:

 1-10-15

 If I know anything, it’s how to procrastinate.  Oh, I’m a world-class procrastinator.  It’s kind of ridiculous.  So, here I am.  Had two weeks to get this doggie sweater knitted and mailed.  Had it knitted in plenty of time.  But now it’s the last possible day to go to the post office and I am a wreck.  I have an hour window to run this errand and all I feel is dread.  It’s awful.  (Why I didn’t take it with me when I mailed Jesus’s package is beyond me.)

 Speaking of Jesus, he offered to be my backup if I called him but it’s two hours earlier in California.  No teenager wants to get woken up at 7 AM on the weekend.  I’m going to see if Gracie and I can manage this ourselves.  Not sure how wise that is, but it’s how I operate.  Solo.

 Deep breaths, Pearl.  You’ve done this before.  Everything’s been fine.  Not everyone is a threat.  Be reasonable.  You can do this.

 No matter how many rational statements Pearl tries to make to herself, the idea of eating anything makes her stomach roll in revulsion.  Maybe, she’ll be hungry once she gets back.  

 She gives herself plenty of time to get ready.  Tries to do what Jesus’s therapist is always advising him and take things one at a time.  

 “Just focus on putting your coat on,” she says.  Then, “You’re just getting Gracie’s leash.” Step by step, until Pearl is “just turning on the car,” and “just pulling out of the drive,” at 8:42.

 Gracie’s here with her, the best co-pilot.  Always happy to ride in the car in case she sees a friendly human who wants to give her a treat.  But she’s fully focused on Pearl right now, which is what Pearl needs.  

 At 9:11, Pearl pulls into the parking lot of the Deerwood post office.  She allows herself a minute to psych herself up before going inside.  “You with me, girl?” she asks Gracie lowly.  Gracie stays with her, step for step.

 As she approaches the doors, Pearl can feel her hands start to shake in earnest.  Her breathing and heart rate speed up.  There are several cars here.  It might be busy.  She doesn’t handle crowds well.  The more people around, the greater chance someone will feel emboldened to bring up what happened to her.  Everyone knows everyone here.  They’d all be thinking about it.

 Gracie presses her nose into Pearl’s hand.  Pearl realizes she’s stopped just short of going inside.  She takes a steadying breath, pulls open the door, and walks inside, taking an immediate right and nearly blacking out at the sight of the long line of people at the counter with packages.

 Packages.

 Damn it.

 Pearl realizes too late that her package is on the passenger seat of her car.  So, it’s back outside again.  She’s hurrying.  Hoping that the long line will inch forward in a timely fashion and that no one new will line up behind Steve and Sue, the middle aged couple with two grown sons.  (Their oldest is five years younger than Pearl.)

 She gets to the car, fumbles the package, but manages to hold on.  Skates across the icy parking lot again and then is inside.  No one has taken her spot behind Steve and Sue.  The line looks like it’s progressed.  Pearl’s package is boxed and addressed already, time savers, when she is already on a deadline.

 But that means Pearl is stuck looking around her.  Dealing with the line that’s literally at a standstill because some college kid at the front of the line has no idea how to address his package.  

 “I thought you guys did that…” he says, perplexed.

 Against her will, a rueful smile appears on Pearl’s face.  She listens in as the post office worker, a sweet blonde named Jolly, patiently explains that “No, sir.  We cannot read your mind.  I’m sorry, but unless you have the address where you’re sending the package, we can’t help you.”

 Pearl glances at her phone.  9:20.  The line is moving, but there are several people ahead of her.

 “Max, where’s your address book?” Steve teases.

 “My what?” the college kid asks.

 “Oh honey, leave him alone,” Sue smiles.  She turns a little, to see Max leave and catches Pearl’s eye.

 Pearl holds her breath.

 “Morning,” Sue greets.  “Long line, huh?” she says frowning.

 “Yeah,” Pearl exhales, relieved at the miracle of Sue not joining the ranks of all the people in Deerwood who want to discuss what a star her rapist is.  Or claim that because Pearl didn’t immediately report the assault that it must mean nothing happened to her in the first place.

 Pearl tries to be patient while Steve enthusiastically greets Jolly and asks after her cat, her mom, and her little brother.  She knows Steve’s a friendly guy but this is excruciating.  She just needs to mail this one thing and then she can get out of here and be back home.  No worse for wear.  Her stomach growls.

 Gracie turns her head, curious.  

 “Mind your business, please,” Pearl whispers.

 Finally, it’s Pearl’s turn at the counter.  She hands the package to Jolly, who greets Pearl warmly and compliments Gracie.  

 “She is such a beautiful dog. And she’s so well-behaved,” Jolly praises.

 “Just this, please.”

 Pearl answers the questions about delivery preferences and if she wants insurance on the package.  If she needs stamps.  She does, actually, and buys a sheet with hearts.

 It’s almost 9:30, according to the clock on the wall, when her package is safely on its way to Rhode Island.  

 Pearl’s trying to juggle Gracie’s leash, her stamps, her receipt, her keys and her phone, when a voice says, “Here, let me get that for you.”

 All the hair on the back of Pearl’s neck raises up.  The voice is the same.  He smells the same.  Like the nasty Cool Water cologne he wore to work.

 Jared.

 He’s 34 now.  Thinner hair.  Three children are around him.  All under five years old.  

 She locks eyes with him.

 “Pearl,” he says and nods, like he’s a gentleman doing her a favor and not the person who ruined her.  Who traumatized her.  Who nearly killed her.

 He brushes past her on the way in, struggling to hold the hands of all three kids simultaneously.  Her skin feels hot where his coat brushed hers.

 She can’t focus.  Can’t breathe.  All sound has tunnelled around her.  But Gracie’s pulling at her.  Pushing her nose into Pearl’s hand.  Pulling at her sleeve with her teeth.

 It jolts Pearl forward and she makes it to the car.  With shaking hands, she unlocks the door.  Gets herself and Gracie both in.  Locks the doors.  Fumbles her phone.  Finds her contact list by accident, and her mind races with who she can call.  

 Jesus’s name rises to the surface of her panic.  Pav and Char might freak out too if they knew Pearl had come face to face with her perpetrator but Jesus had outsmarted his.  According to Mariana, he has street smarts in spades.  A skill set she desperately needs.  It feels like her brain is shorting out.  She has no idea how to move forward.  What the next step even is, much less, how to move.

 She still can’t hear anything but her own blood rushing in her ears.  She can’t speak.  Can’t catch her breath.  She forces her shaking hand to follow one more command and tap Jesus’s name.  She has no idea what she’ll do if he picks up.  If she’ll even be able to tell he has or not.  She just hopes he doesn’t hang up.  She hopes he’ll stay with her.

 --

 Jesus is half asleep on his blankets, but awake enough to be aware of all the little noises the house is making.  He’s not ready to start moving yet.  Wants to just take it easy.  All the intense therapy and Moms always checking in with him, and having to be so aware of when he might need help from them is tiring him out.  

 But he’s still hanging in there.  No hurting himself since Thursday afternoon and it’s Saturday morning.  Mom’s still on bandaid patrol and he’s glad.  Looking at his own marks would make it super hard to keep treating himself okay.  Having them covered with bandaids and long sleeves is helping.

 His phone rings with the Let It Snow ringtone he picked just for Pearl.  He glances at the time.  7:28 AM.  She must be going to the post office.  He picks up.

 “Hey, are you on the way or are you there already?” Jesus asks.

 Nothing.

 In the background, he can hear Gracie whining.  Yipping.  

 “Pearl?  Are you okay?” Jesus tries again, sitting up.  “Can you talk?”

 Nothing...but...breathing.  Heavy.  Hard.  And Gracie in the background.  

 “Hey.  It’s Jesus.  Can you hear me?  Whatever it is, it’s okay.  I’m here with you.  We have time.  Just take your time, alright?  Try to catch your breath.”

 Nothing.

 His arms get chills all over.  Jesus can feel the hair standing up on end.  But he’s got to keep trying.  “Pearl.  It’s Jesus.  It’s okay.  If you can hear me, say something.”

 One minute crawls by.  Another twenty seconds.  Then, her voice, just a whisper, desperate: “He’s here.  I saw him.”

 “Where did you see him?  Are you still at the post office?” Jesus asks, his heartbeat speeding up.

 “The post office.  The parking lot.  The car.  The post office.  The parking lot--”

 Jesus tries to take a deep breath.  To sound calm.  Because Pearl is clearly scared to death.  “Pearl.  Stop.  Okay.  Listen to me.  Take a deep breath.  Right?  Can you?”

 It works and she stops rambling.  Repeating the same three places in a hysterical loop.  She’s breathing.

 “Okay.  Awesome.  Can you tell me what happened when you saw him?”

 “He held the door open for me…” she manages, her voice shaking.  “Said my name.”  It breaks.  Jesus can hear her crying and feels like breaking something.  Powerless.

 “Where are you right now?  Look around and tell me.  Are you safe?”

 “Locked in my car…” she breathes sounding shaky still.  “Jesus, I don’t know what to do!  I can’t drive right now!  I can’t leave…”

 “Okay.  But Gracie’s there with you, right?”

 “Yes.”

 “So, let her help you calm down.  Just do that for a minute.”

 It’s quiet on the other end of the phone, while Jesus goes to Moms’ bedroom door and knocks.  He knows better than to try to handle this by himself.

 “Jesus?  What is it, love?” Mom asks.

 “Pearl.  She says she saw the guy who did the thing to her.  She’s really upset.  I’m handling it but I wanna be sure I’m telling her to do the right things.  Not something that’s gonna put her in more danger.  “Pearl,” he tries, talking to her.

 “What?”

 “I have Stef here.  Is that okay?” he asks.

 “Put her on speaker,” Stef instructs.  By now they are downstairs, and Mom is going out front, on the porch.  Jesus follows, putting the phone on speaker.

 “Where is he now, Pearl?” Mom insists.

 “I don’t know where he is…” Pearl whispers.  “But he has children with him…”

 “Do you know what his car looks like?” she tries.

 “No.”

 “Did you see him come out?” Mom tries.

 “No.”

 “She says she can’t drive right now,” Jesus passes along.  “She’s too panicked.”

 “That’s okay.  You just stay where you are.”

 Jesus looks at Mom.  She’s nodding back at him.  “Try to help her stay calm.”

 “We have time,” he manages.  “You’re gonna be okay.  Just stay with us. We have time.”

 Jesus can hear Gracie whining.  Pearl’s ragged breathing.  And he wishes he could just climb through the phone and go help her.  But she’s alone there.  He’s got to help her figure this out from where he is now.